Osama dead – Obama

Today’s day started with the news that Osama-Bin-Laden is dead. I came to know of this at our regular bus stop. On the way to office, I started posting in FaceBook. The posts are below:

Osama dead? Why not declare a global holiday?
Who will be attending the final procession of Osama? Will Mubarak get bail to attend it? Will Gaddafi be assured safe passage to attend?
Al-Qaeda’s General Body Meeting in 3 days to select next leader. (PS: Subject to US approval)
Al-Qaeda’s stocks fall. FIIs pull out. Wall Street demands a quick solution.
Next line leaders in Al-Qaeda get 1200% bonus. Senior leaders get Golden Parachute.
World suspects US hand in killing Osama. US agrees. India and Sri Lanka pass it as rubbish.
SMKrish says that it is Pak’s work to tarnish US’s image and deteriorate Indo-US ties. Obama makes urgent call to SMKrish to stop giving statements.
DMDK claims that it is not US, but Captain Vijaykanth who killed Osama. A footage in Kalaingar TV reveals Captain kicking Osama in the butt.
Subramanya Sami (National Legal Comedian – India) says, “Soni, UPA and Congres has hands in it. I have written about this to Mam Mohan Sing. If he rejects, I will file case in Suprem Court. I have all the necessary evidences.”
TR’s new Vinu Food Products (instant mixes and paste) advertisement is also suspected a reason for the killing. The movie marathon on Tamil channels, on account of May 1, could also be a reason.
Government withholds all the 3 Indian passports of Osama. Says that he needs to appear in person to claim his passports back.
Latest news: Osama, looking at these developments, commits suicide. Obama is recommended for Nobel Peace Prize-Part II.
Obama mumbles that he is humbled by the Nobel recommendation. Nobel and Gandhi puke on him.