102nd way to beat the stress

1. Get up 15 minutes earlier (I get up 5:30 PM from my desk)

2. Prepare for the morning the night before (I brush at night itself, so I don’t need to brush again in the morning)

3. Avoid tight fitting clothes (With my physique, no cloth in the world is tight)

4. Avoid relying on chemical aids (Yes, I am in polyester department, so will depend only on polyester aids [and band aids at needy occasions])

5. Set appointments ahead (I set appointments in Outlook; is ‘ahead’ application allows us to set appointments?)

6. Don’t rely on your memory … write it down (Frankly, not me, no one relies on my memory)

7. Practice preventive maintenance (I practice prevention rather than maintenance. I just prevent the broken equipment and replace with new one.)

8. Make duplicate keys (Yes, I go home at awkward times that, forget wifey, even your kid wont open door for me)

9. Say “no” more often (I kept saying ‘NO’ continuously for 30 minutes; now people are looking at me suspiciously and laughing at themselves)

10. Set priorities in your life (ABC: Apna kaam, bibi ka kaam, children ka kaam / Apna kaam, boss ka kaam, company ka kaam)

11. Avoid negative people (You mean black people with complete white hair)

12. Use time wisely (Yes, play games)

13. Simplify meal times (Great, I prefer from 10:30 AM to 06:00 PM)

14. Always make copies of important papers (We even have copies for print-outs, taken from websites)

15. Anticipate your needs (Salary, Increment, Promotion)

16.. Repair anything that doesn’t work properly (Generally, I repair things that work properly)

17. Ask for help with the jobs you dislike (If I started to ask, I would have to give my entire salary to them [including PLI])

18. Break large tasks into bite size portions (I break dosa and chapatti to a size which I can bite)

19. Look at problems as challenges (I never turn at problems; else I would be assigned to handle it)

20. Look at challenges differently (As though its for others)

21. Unclutter your life (Sorry, can’t be done; I am already married)

22. Smile (Yes, atleast to confuse people on what you are thinking)

23. Be prepared for rain (Walk around with your pants, half pulled up)

24. Tickle a baby (But once a baby slapped back)

25. Pet a friendly dog/cat (Mean to say, befriend someone with IQ more than mine?)

26. Don’t know all the answers (That’s my favorite response to any query posed to me)

27. Look for a silver lining (Yes silver raised 60% in 2010; gold raised only 18%)

28. Say something nice to someone (I did, but the girl complained to her husband; more worse, complained to my wifey too)

29. Teach a kid to fly a kite (And I ended up with the kid losing his belief in flight)

30. Walk in the rain (Yeah, dogs won’t chase you running in the rain)

31. Schedule play time into every day (We call it office hours)

32. Take a bubble bath (First take bath)

33. Be aware of the decisions you make (Where were you when I was married; atleast when I was employed?)

34. Believe in yourself (Atleast me; as nobody else does)

35. Stop saying negative things to yourself (Let others say)

36. Visualize yourself winning (I am even using CG for that)

37. Develop your sense of humor (I do)

38. Stop thinking tomorrow will be a better today (I fear you missed ‘that’ between ‘thinking’ and ‘tomorrow’)

39. Have goals for yourself (But my mates accused me of making a self goal and threw me out of the team)

40. Dance a jig (All my dances are like jig[-jack])

41. Say “hello” to a stranger (Especially, if she is cute and young)

42. Ask a friend for a hug (If the condition is same as above)

43. Look up at the stars (Even after two rounds, l look even Black Holes)

44. Practice breathing slowly (Will help when you sneak late into home)

45. Learn to whistle a tune (Will help to signal a friend when you are kidnapping someone for ransom)

46. Read a poem (Whenever I sing, people say that I am reading a poem)

47. Listen to a symphony (Yes, just listen, don’t attempt)

48. Watch a ballet (The women would be beautiful)

49. Read a story curled up in bed (I start reading story for my kid; ended up curled in bed)

50. Do a brand new thing (Daily?)

51. Stop a bad habit (Again, Daily?)

52. Buy yourself a flower (A Rose; and then give it to the cute lady you see first)

53. Take time to smell the flowers (You won’t believe; even I smell)

54. Find support from others (Yes, I always borrow)

55. Ask someone to be your “vent-partner” (And end up venting all your anguish to the partner; I love to see the partner’s face after that)

56. Do it today (I did even today)

57. Work at being cheerful and optimistic (I try every moment)

58. Put safety first (While jumping from an altitude, I threw the helmet first and then I jumped; ended with a bump on head)

59. Do everything in moderation (I never work to excellence)

60. Pay attention to your appearance (How much?)

61. Strive for Excellence NOT perfection (Why work at first place and struggle under this dilemma?)

62. Stretch your limits a little each day (I stretch the limit daily; but never worked to achieve it)

63. Look at a work of art (Does art work? They are just displayed)

64. Hum a jingle (But kids cry and women shriek when I jingle; what to do?)

65. Maintain your weight (Who me?!!!)

66. Plant a tree (Its very big; can I just plant a seed or a sapling?)

67. Feed the birds (I feed the bird to my family members and myself; they will be tasty)

68. Practice grace under pressure (I practice everything under compulsion)

69. Stand up and stretch (But the rubber snapped and hit my neighbors’ face)

70. Always have a plan “B” (Don’t worry; I have plans almost going upto “K”)

71. Learn a new doodle (I know noodle and foodle; even a poodle; what’s a doodle?)

72. Memorize a joke (But I always reproduce it badly)

73. Be responsible for your feelings (Always have a feather with you)

74. Learn to meet your own needs (Better, make your ends meet)

75. Become a better listener (Atleast after marriage)

76. Know your limitations and let others know them, too (So that they won’t burden you with responsibilities)

77. Tell someone to have a good day in Latin (I even can try German)

78. Throw a paper airplane (At whom?)

79. Exercise every day (What policy do I have to exercise?)

80. Learn the words to a new song (With such rubbish songs these days; try to know the words, in the first place)

81. Get to work early (More importantly leave early from work)

82. Clean out one closet (You may find some money hidden somewhere in it)

83. Play patty cake with a toddler (At the end, the toddler forces me to eat the cake)

84. Go on a picnic (When its sponsored by other)

85. Take a different route to work (But sadly, I never got lost; believe me, all roads lead to Office)

86. Leave work early (With permission or just sneak out?)

87. Put air freshener in your car (For the sake of co-passengers)

88. Watch a movie and eat popcorn (When wife is out)

89. Write a note to a far away friend (But don’t put your address on it; he may insist you to return his money back)

90. Go to a ball game and scream (As you can’t scream at home; its wife’s job at home)

91. Cook a meal and eat it by candlelight (You can’t even look your food in bright light)

92. Recognize the importance of unconditional love (To money)

93. Remember that stress is an attitude (I remember stress as a formula / definition)

94. Keep a journal (‘MAD’ is okay?)

95. Practice a monster smile (My smile is as such monstrous)

96. Remember you always have options (Idly / Dosa?)

97. Have a support network of people, places and things (To lend you money)

98. Quit trying to fix other people (I myself am in a fix)

99. Get enough sleep (in office, in order to be awake at home)

100. Talk less and listen more (Especially when boss / wife speaks)

101. Freely praise other people (I even appraise people)

Regards
K.S.Prabhu